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When one parent bad mouths the other in front of a child — 8 Comments

  1. The whole divorce Industry is a mess, the children = money and power over the other parent. it takes two to support a child, unless one parent is so bad off that they cant take care of a child, every couple should share the children right down the middle, no more child support for any reason, both parent need to support kids. If a parent wont parent then they should pay or give up the rights so the child can be adopted by the many who would love to be parents that can’t.

    Craig Stevens of Wisconsin

  2. My baby momma Vonneta naraine is the worst dead beat mom ever. I have not seen my children since Christmas. I have been paying child support since 2006. She is a greasy lowlife who didn’t grow up with her dad in her life and has transferred over this dysfunctional family life over to the next generation. She is mad because I no longer desire her.
    I be been dating a girl I knew before her and she’s mad hater cause I don’t want her old beat up poontang anymore. She did me dirty and she mad cause my new chic on me like flies on shit. I don’t know why she makes this an issue about her she’s washed up. The only thing I want is my kids not her. When I go 2 the court they don’t really help much I don’t know where she lives or phone number. What makes it worse is my son has autism. She’s living trife and stealing my money and not allowing me to see my children. Please help me my lord.

    • Hey Steve, thanks for writing. I’m not sure of the state you live in but you have rights for visitation. unless there have been orders of protection in place. if you have been paying child support then the courts must know where she is because the money is sent to her. if you find that the courts is not much help then I would suggest a lawyer so you can see your children. I hope this will help. Naomi

  3. My step-daughter has a deadbeat mom emotionally. The Mother Candy Cutajar is the poster mom for Parental Alienation. This has been going on for over 3 years now with no light in sight. It is a shame when a Mother lets her hatred and insecurities rule her life. This is sad because my step daughter has C.P. and is confined to her wheelchair, but her Mom Candy Cutajar is so full of hate and jealousy that, that’s all she sees. It gets better because my step-daughter has different levels of comprehension and does not always understand the ramifications of her decisions or her actions. So she is left with a Mother that takes advantage financially and emotionally. My story could keep on going but that won’t help my step-daughter. We have tried every government department with no avail. It seems it is up to the family to step in and not The Guardian and Trustee of Ontario. It seems the disabled are on their own in Ontario….

    Thanks for listening
    Rhonda MacLeod Barrie Ontario

    • Parental alienation is a social dynamic, generally occurring due to divorce or separation, when a child expresses unjustified hatred or unreasonably strong dislike of one parent, making access by the rejected parent difficult or impossible. These feelings may be influenced by negative comments by the other parent and by the characteristics, such as lack of empathy and warmth, of the rejected parent. The term does not apply in cases of actual child abuse, when the child rejects the abusing parent to protect themselves. Parental alienation is controversial in legal and mental health professions, both generally and in specific situations.

      Terms related to parental alienation include child alienation, pathological alignments, visitation refusal, pathological alienation, the toxic parent and parental alienation syndrome though the last term is a specific formulation of a medical syndrome proposed by psychiatrist Richard Gardner that is not well accepted. The behaviors of all family members, including those of the alienated parent, may lead to the family dysfunction and rejection of a parent.

      Parental alienation lacks a single definition and its existence, etiology, characteristics and in particular the description of the term as a syndrome has been subject to still-unresolved debate. Some formulations of the concept have emphasized the role of an alienating parent, termed variously the “programming” parent and “embittered-chaotic parent”. More recent descriptions, influenced the research of Kelly and Johnston, have proposed a more complex analysis, in which all family members may play a role. This “systems-based” view acknowledges that a child may be alienated from one parent without “alienating” behaviour by the other parent. Based on an empirical study, it also suggests that alienating behaviours by both parents is the norm in high-conflict divorces. Rejected parents, generally fathers, tend to lack warmth and empathy with the child, engage in rigid parenting and critical attitudes, and are passive, depressed, anxious and withdrawn – characteristics which may encourage rejection. The parent that the child aligns with – the aligned parent – may engage in alienating behaviours, by undermining the other parent: these behaviours may be conscious and deliberate or alternatively may reflect a lack of awareness on the effect of their actions on their children. Direct alienating behaviours occur when one parent actively undermines the other parent, such as making derogatory remarks about the other parent or telling the child that the other parent is responsible for the separation or the cause of financial difficulties. Indirect alienation behaviours occur when one parent fails to support access or contact with the other parent, or tacitly accepts the child’s negative behaviour and comments towards the other parent. I hope this gives you a little more insight on topic, i believe you have to prove more than just Parental alienation to the judge, because it seems not to be considered child abuse, it seems to be considered a mental situation that needs attention.

  4. It depends on the schools and on the kids, and I would go and interview and observe any schools you are considering. My eldest would had some early learning issues which might have benefited from being homeschooled, except that she was compulsively social and would have absolutely hated not having kids around most of the day. I ended up doing a lot of tutoring until she was up to par, but kept her in formal school systems. As to the public private thing, I have tried both public and private schools. In some places the public schools were better than the private ones; in others it was the reverse. I am myself Catholic and I tithe, so that the local Catholic school system is free to me, but there was a time when I sent one kid to the Catholic school, and the other to nonreligious private school. (The local public schools at that time and place were bad in all respects.) The secular private school was more academically challenging but had a problem with drugs and alcohol. My risk taker therefore got sent to the Catholic school, my cautious kid to the other.

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